If you’re planning a father-and-daughter dance at your wedding, one thing worth thinking about is when to have it.
Traditionally, the father-and-daughter dance takes place immediately after the couple’s first dance, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best time.
Having photographed plenty of weddings over the years, I’ve seen how the timing of the dances can affect the atmosphere of the evening, particularly when everyone is ready to get onto the dancefloor.
My recommendation? If there’s a natural break in the evening entertainment, I’d have the father-and-daughter dance later in the evening to help get the party going again. Otherwise, I’d suggest having it before the couple’s first dance so the celebrations can get underway without interruption.
WHEN SHOULD YOU HAVE THE FATHER AND DAUGHTER DANCE? A QUICK COMPARISON
Here’s a quick look at the four main options.
|
When to have the dance |
Advantages |
Disadvantages |
|---|---|---|
|
1. After the first dance |
Traditional, easy to organise and both dances are likely to be photographed. |
Can interrupt the atmosphere just as everyone is ready to join the dancefloor. |
|
2. Before the first dance |
Both dances get their moment, and the couple’s first dance leads naturally into the party. |
Some couples prefer their first dance to be the first dance of the evening. |
|
3. Informally during the evening |
Relaxed, no announcements and doesn’t interrupt the party. |
The photographer might miss it if they haven’t been told it’s happening. |
|
4. Later in the evening |
Gives both dances their own moment and can help restart the party after a natural break. |
Your photographer may have finished, and not every wedding has a natural break. |
OPTION 1: THE FATHER AND DAUGHTER DANCE AFTER THE FIRST DANCE
This is probably the most traditional option.
The couple have their first dance, followed by the bride and her dad, with everyone already gathered around the dancefloor.
It’s straightforward to organise, and both dances happen at the beginning of the evening, when your photographer is most likely to still be there.
The downside?
The first dance usually signals the start of the evening party. Once the couple finish, guests are ready to join them, and introducing another slow dance can interrupt that momentum.
It’s not necessarily a problem, and a good DJ can manage the transition, but personally, I think there are better ways to arrange things.
OPTION 2: THE FATHER AND DAUGHTER DANCE BEFORE THE FIRST DANCE
If you want both dances together at the beginning of the evening, this would be my preferred way of doing it.
The DJ introduces the bride and her dad for their dance. As the song finishes, the groom steps in, her dad steps away, and the couple have their first dance.
Once that finishes, the DJ or band can go straight into something upbeat and invite everyone onto the dancefloor.
It gives both dances their own moment and allows the evening party to get started without another interruption.
The downside?
Some couples might prefer their first dance to be the first dance of the evening. But if that doesn’t bother you, I think this arrangement works really well.
OPTION 3: AN INFORMAL FATHER AND DAUGHTER DANCE
This is a lovely option for couples who don’t particularly enjoy being the centre of attention.
Rather than having a formal announcement, the bride and her dad simply have a dance together during the evening.
It could be the second or third song after the first dance, or whenever the moment feels right. You could arrange for the DJ to play a meaningful song, or just enjoy a dance together.
There’s no announcement, no pressure and no need for everyone to stop what they’re doing.
The downside?
If you’d like photographs of the dance, make sure your photographer knows it’s happening. Even if you don’t want it announced, it’s worth letting your photographer and DJ know beforehand.
OPTION 4: THE FATHER AND DAUGHTER DANCE LATER IN THE EVENING – MY PREFERRED OPTION
Of the four options, this is the one I’d recommend if your evening has a natural break in the entertainment.
The couple have their first dance, the DJ or band gets the party started, and everyone enjoys the first hour or so of dancing.
Later in the evening, there’s often a natural break. Perhaps the evening food is being served, or the live band has finished its first set and is taking a break.
The dancefloor becomes quieter as guests head off for food, drinks or a catch-up.
This is where I’d suggest having the father-and-daughter dance.
When the DJ or band is ready to start again, the father-and-daughter dance is announced, bringing everyone back around the dancefloor.
The bride and her dad have their moment together, and once the song finishes, the DJ or band launches straight into the next part of the evening.
I particularly like this arrangement because it gives both dances their own moment without interrupting the atmosphere after the first dance.
It also provides a natural way to get everyone gathered around the dancefloor again after a break.
The downside?
Not every wedding has a natural break, and I certainly wouldn’t suggest stopping a busy dancefloor just to fit in another dance.
Your photographer may also have finished for the evening, so it’s worth checking your photography timings if having the dance photographed is important to you.
ARE THERE OTHER TIMES YOU CAN HAVE THE FATHER AND DAUGHTER DANCE?
Absolutely!
You could have it after the wedding breakfast and speeches, before the evening reception begins.
Another option is to combine the father-and-daughter dance with a mother-and-son dance, allowing both parents to share the dancefloor at the same time.
And of course, it doesn’t have to be a father-and-daughter dance at all.
You might want to dance with your mum, stepdad, grandparent, sibling or another important person in your life.
There’s no rule saying you have to follow a particular wedding tradition.
HOW LONG SHOULD THE FATHER AND DAUGHTER DANCE LAST?
Just because you’ve chosen a four or five-minute song doesn’t mean you have to dance for the entire thing.
For most couples, around two minutes is plenty of time to enjoy the moment without feeling like you’re standing in the middle of the dancefloor forever.
If you’ve chosen a meaningful song, speak to your DJ beforehand. They can often arrange for it to fade naturally after a couple of minutes.
Alternatively, you could invite other family members or guests onto the dancefloor partway through the song.
SPEAK TO YOUR DJ, BAND AND PHOTOGRAPHER
Whichever option you choose, it’s worth having a quick conversation with your DJ or band about the timings.
If you’re planning the dance later in the evening, ask whether there’s a natural break that would work.
And don’t forget your photographer!
For example, if your first dance is at 8pm and your photographer finishes at 9pm, a father-and-daughter dance at 9:45pm won’t be photographed.
There’s nothing wrong with that if photographs aren’t particularly important to you, but if it’s a moment you’d like captured, make sure your photography coverage includes it.
A little planning beforehand can make everything feel much more natural on the day.
SO, WHEN IS THE BEST TIME FOR THE FATHER AND DAUGHTER DANCE?
Personally, I think the best time is later in the evening, when there’s a natural break in the entertainment.
It allows the couple’s first dance to start the party without interruption and gives the father-and-daughter dance its own moment.
If that doesn’t work with your evening plans, I’d recommend having it before the couple’s first dance.
And if you don’t want another formal dance, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with simply having an informal dance together.
Ultimately, it’s about choosing a time that works for you and allows you both to enjoy the moment.
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